How to write a cold email that gets the “yes”

This issue of Cold Start Blueprint is brought to you by Boxcar Agency.

Your owned marketing channels—web, email and SMS—should deliver reliable ROI.

If they're not, our conversion copy specialists can help. Boxcar Agency helps growth-focused companies fix leaky funnels with copy that converts. 

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Most cold emails are shit.

So I pay attention when a cold email can: 

1. Grab my attention 

2. and get me to reply. 

The PressPulse cold emails stood out in the slush pile of shitty cold emails I receive every day.

Admittedly, I have high standards for cold emails that land in my inbox: 

My name’s Carolyn Beaudoin. I’m a conversion copywriter and the founder of a boutique messaging and copywriting agency owner, Boxcar Agency. We specialize in optimizing copy for web, email and SMS.

So… what saves cold emails from the slush pile (and getting marked as spam)?

The copy.

Copy is salesmanship in print. 

When done right, your copy holds the power to: 

• get your reader to open, 

• get your prospect to willingly open their wallet and click “Buy Now,” 

• and compel the reader (who’s never heard of you) to happily reply.

You see, copywriting—conversion copywriting in particular—is writing that’s data-driven, results-oriented, experimentation-minded and psychology-backed. 

In today’s issue, you’ll see why the PressPulse cold email copy is primed to convert—from the subject line to the body copy to the call to action. (Hint: you can apply these conversion-boosting techniques to your own copy!)

The Foundation: Understand your audience

As Elvis said to me: “Your copy has to incorporate your entire list-building process.”

I couldn’t agree more. Generally speaking, we recommend assembling copy like this:

Here’s how it works:

1. Understand your list. Your list is your audience of readers. In the case of cold emails, your readers are the list you’ve created for your campaign. Ideally, this is a hyper-targeted list. (If you’re not sure how to build a hyper-targeted list for your cold emails, check out this issue and this issue to get started.)

2. Align your offer to your list. What does your list actually want? How can you package up your solution—that is, your product or your services—as an offer that’s optimized for your list? For example, if your list is a highly skeptical reader, you might plan to overcome skepticism with guarantees and risk reducers that don't sound too good to be true.

3. Write copy that positions your offer in a way that’s compelling to your list. Copy is the last piece of the puzzle. (This may surprise you, but it’s true.) The best copy can fall flat if it’s not written for the right list or when the offer isn’t aligned with the list. 

Now, maybe you’re wondering:

What do I need to do to understand my audience?

Good question. Complex answer. :) 

You can use a variety of research methods to understand your audience—interviews, surveys, online message mining on social media and forums, chat transcripts, demo and sales recordings, support email threads and so on.

Our recommended starting point?

Talk. To. Your. Customers.

Elvis talks about how to begin this process within the context of validating an idea, so you can ensure you’re selling the right thing to the right people at the right time (critical!). This is a solid start, but audience understanding isn’t a one-and-done effort—you need to keep your finger on the pulse of your audience.

At a bare minimum, you should know how your customer thinks about and describes:

• The dreamstate they’re trying to achieve and why that dreamstate matters to them.

• The obstacles / problems they’re facing as they work toward their dreamstate.

• What they’re currently doing to reach the dreamstate. (The status quo.)

• The anxieties they think about as they contemplate switching from their status quo to a solution like yours.

• What they find particularly compelling about your solution.

You can typically gather these insights in as little as 5 interviews, provided your interviewees are properly selected.

If you’re thinking you might just skip the audience research thing for now, I get it.

Audience research can feel… unsexy. But it’s not a waste of time. Here’s why:

Not only can you use your research to identify, plan and write messages that resonate and convert your audience. You can also use your research to identify bottom-line boosting opportunities that: 

• Boost win rates

• Reduce lead drop-off

• Prioritize high-value features in your product roadmap to better serve your customers 

• Increase product stickiness

• Diagnose (and fix) causes of churn

Audience research helps you replace guesswork with confidence. And it can give you the clarity to make decisions and implement plans that are based on actual buyers. 

Hook ‘em with your subject line and preview text

For optimal performance, each email component should focus on achieving just one goal. For example:

• The from name’s goal is to build trust.

• The subject line and preview’s goal is to get the reader to open the email.

• The first line of the body copy’s goal is to get the reader to read the second line.

• The second line’s goal is to get ‘em to read the third line… and so on.

• The call to action (CTA)’s goal is to get the reader to take the ONE action you want them to take right now. (And which your entire email is selling.)

Of all the different email components to obsess over, the subject line and preview get the lion’s share of attention. Makes sense:

If the reader doesn’t open the email, they can’t convert. Getting the open is mission-critical. 

So let’s take a closer look at the PressPulse subject line and preview, and talk about what’s working well in this piece of copy:

Good Thing #1: Uses light personalization 

Simple on the surface, yet deceptively hard to get right. 

Personalization is a tool you can use to quickly boost relevance… but it’s also the tool that I see go wrong most often in cold emails. 

Here, the personalization doesn’t try too hard. It’s just a mention of my agency’s name:

Notice that the copy surrounding my agency’s name isn’t PressPulse (this is a common cold email subject line combo I see at least a handful of times per week). Instead, the copy surrounding my agency’s name is related to a key effort I’m working on at Boxcar Agency. 

The subject line practically screams “This email is all about you!” which in turn triggers the widely studied self-relevance effect. Good for memory, good for engagement and great for getting the open.

Good Thing #2: Gets specific

Nearly every word that I can see in this view is specific to either myself or my goals around PR. 

For example, I see my business name mentioned in the subject line and I see the mentions of HARO and Forbes in the preview.

This specificity is a signal to the reader that the email is relevant to me and helps me believe that this isn't just another garbage cold email. 

Specific copy also helps tap into the certainty effect, which is a cognitive bias where people prefer outcomes that seem certain as opposed to probable. Specific information provides a sense of certainty, which makes the reader feel more confident in their decision to say yes. 

(Most cold emails are incredibly generic which reinforces the already-held belief that the cold email is being sent out en masse without any real thought to whether the recipient is actually right-fit for the solution.)

Good Thing #3: Drives curiosity 

Based on recent studies, curiosity is a powerful motivator for learning and can be influential in decision-making, so opening up a curiosity loop is a strategic tool to use when writing subject lines.

The combination of relevance, personalization and specificity, plus, the subject line phrased as a question tells me that what’s inside the email is likely to be relevant to me, but I don’t know enough to know what’s inside:

What kind of PR?

Is it bad PR for my brand?

Are you a journalist?

Do you want to feature my company?

The combination of both personalization and vagueness opens a powerful curiosity loop—I need to open the email to close the loop.

Deliver value in the email body

There are no throwaway words in your copy. Every word counts.

So let’s take a closer look, line-by-line, at how every word in the PressPulse email is pulling its weight: